it's all meant to be

now i'm fairly sure this is all before
sparky dumped me or jordan owed me any money
sounds more how i'm feeling now than it did then
isn't that funny all to familiar
barry was right
you cant sing that
i did
and got myself into a fight
with a boy who fancied my gal
from the first moment
i remember it clearly
and when he broke frankies teeth
boo said to me
franky asked for it
he owed jordan money
twenty
funny
he said the same about me
22 pound 50 actually
yeah but frankies a cunt said boo
(like you)(he said silently) *after pretend friend hugging me
because he was jealous of jordan
who?
frankie?
i asked frankie
he said who?
me?
why would i be jealous of a 21 year old?
and looked confused
i took him sincerely
so thats the story
jordan tell on frankie
jealousy
and they always judge themself
those who accuse everyone else
and i then have to ask myself
was jordan jealous of me
did he fall in love with sparky?
like everybody else
not unlikely
and did he always hate me?
secretly?
was he always taking me for a cunt from day one when initially
he appeared to love me
appeared to respect to me
appeared to look up to me
i still believe he did
all three
genuinely
but i have had many do this to me
and fundamentally
he took me for an english middle class cunt from day one
and hated me
particularly
because im 42 and shes 23
and he's 21
so he sparked me for sparky
obviously
young lion taking out an old siverback decisively

sparky's dried up rose
two black eyes and a broken nose

but that's not this story
come back to 1995 with me

why is life so crap?
it's all meant to be...